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As promised, here's the third period of Impossible Lesson. Again, translation credit goes to The_Kumatei over at Jindai-High! I'm just spreading the love!




Chidori: (narrating) What if we had a villainous teacher.


Chidori: Good grief, wasn't he a detestable teacher. (needs a better version)

Sousuke: Third period's modern civ is about to start.

*bell rings*

Gauron: All right, we're starting modern civ. Take your seats.

Chidori: Ge~!

Sousuke: Gauron!

Gauron: *laughs* I'm happy to see you, Kashim. You look well. (this doesn't sound right)

Sousuke: Gauron! B,Bastard, you're supposed to have died! (I thought you died! might work better)

Gauron: Hey hey, how cold. Don't worry about the minor details.

Ono-D: Yeah, yeah. Dead or alive, don't worry so much about it.

Kyouko: Ono-D, so you were alive?

Gauron: Well then, now that we're ready for class, let's all enjoy it together. *laugh*

Sousuke: Very well, let's see this lesson of yours.

Gauron: All right. Then for starters let do transcribing kanji. Depression, Rose, and Past-Censorship. Can anyone write them? (憂鬱, 薔薇, 既往褒貶)

Ono-D: Me me me me!

Gauron: Mhmm, Onodera.

Ono-D: I canno~

Gauron: *BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM* (Gauron shoots Ono-D)

Ono-D: *blargh*
*shells dropping on floor*
Ono-D: *falls*

Kyouko: Ah! Ono-D is, Ono-D is!

Gauron: Don't - - - around during my lecture, okay?

Chidori: They're steadily fitting into their roles nicely huh?

Gauron: Jeez, no one can write such simple kanji? How lame. Or is this the consequence of this No Child Left Behind act? {"Education with Breathing-space policy, Laissez-faire, etc. Gauron is saying that this Japanese fairness policy is making the students dumber, I was trying to find an English equivalent. }

Sousuke: There's no way a normal high school student could be able to write such difficult kanji like Past-Censorship! (既往褒貶)
You're worse than a third rate teacher.

Gauron: *laughs* You're harsh Kashim. Then let's give you a different problem.

Sousuke: Fine then.

Gauron: Okay, then come over here. Right this on the blackboard. "Let's see...Kashim loves Gauron Sensei. Heart. ♥" All written with kanji.

Sousuke: What the hell is that? (does Sousuke use curse words?)

Gauron: Oh, you can't write it?

Sousuke: I can't! Not with every meaning!

Gauron: *Laugh* If not, then you lose, Kashim!

Sousuke: Ke~ Gu~ Uwaaaah!!

Chidori: Is this really something to worry about?

Gauron: Jeez, it can't be helped. All right, I'll have you do an easier problem. Hmm, that's right, "Gauron Sensei's extreme attack makes Kashim's heart pound. I want to have children with him." Write that.

Sousuke: ...It's impossible! *yells*

Gauron: Of course this needs to all be in kanji.

Sousuke: T T T THAT's what is impossible!

Kyouko: It seems like a copy of a certain Boys Love series, doesn't it?

Gauron: *laughs* What's wrong, Kashim? Write it. Come on, I said write it.
Show in front of everyone in the class your magnificent loves towards me.
If you don't, then you lose.
That's good. That soured, humiliated expression. Ooh, I'm getting ecstatic. Come on, come on.
What happens when I do this here? *moan* Come on, come on.

Sousuke: B Back off! Don't touch me! Bastards like~ ah, where are you touching me? Pervert!

Gauron: *giggles* Don't run away.

Sousuke: Shut up!

(these next several lines are close because they're all being said overtop of each other)
Gauron: You actually like this, don't you? Come on, come on.
Kyouko: Hmmm. This is getting fairly erotic.
Sousuke: You think I like that? (using That instead of This because it's already happened, I'm assuming)
Gauron: See, you just said "Let's do it", didn't you?
Kyouko: Is Sagara the one on the receiving end?
Sousuke: Stop it!

Chidori: By the way, Kyouko, you're actually well-knowledgeable in this field huh?
Gauron: How about it? (...inaudible...)
Sousuke: There's no way it would feel good there!
Chidori: Or rather,
Gauron: *weird noises*

Chidori: Gauron Sensei, I have a question!

Gauron: Huh, what?

Chidori: Gauron Sensei, are you really, a homo?

Gauron: Hmm, if I had to say, I just want to see the look of disdain on his face...

Chidori: Ah, I knew it.

Gauron: We've hanging out for this and that a long time.
I generally know what I can do to make him feel unpleasant. Hm Hm. *nods* (this is longer than the Japanese version, couldn’t think of a way to trim it down. )

Kyouko: Is that so...

Sousuke: *Embarrassed* G-Gauron!

Gauron: Ah, on that subject, I have a photo I secretly took from Helmajistan's Guerrilla days.

Sousuke: What?!

Gauron: Kashim playing naked in the water. It really cute. Anyone wanna see?

Sousuke: S S Stoooppp!

Gauron: No, I'm lying. I don't have a photo like that. Don't look so frightened. *big evil laugh*

Sousuke: *heavy breathing* This is hopeless.
 
 
 
 
 
 
This, with the audio, is priceless.
I can't thank you enough for your love of FMP and for sharing all this awesomeness with us!
Sorry for the random question, but do you know where I might be able to find audio of this? Thanks.